Don’t wait until you reach success to become happier! Most of us are relatively happy, but we are also aware of a deep sense that we could be happier. We believe happiness will come when we reach certain goals in our lives like getting married, buying a new home, getting a raise, a promotion, or a new job. So we forego a little happiness today and this week so we can reach those goals sooner. Our challenge is the days and weeks turn into months and years. The goals we thought would make us happy turn out to be just milestones on a long journey, and our happiness does not materialize like we had hoped. Happiness in the form of a deep sense of contentment, satisfaction, and fulfillment seems to be missing. This book will help by providing a clear plan on how to choose happiness and then leverage that happiness to become even more successful. Don’t spend your life chasing success and hoping for happiness, learn how to connect happiness and success.
“In this book, Ray shows that happiness actually comes before success, not after it. He spells out how the two are eternally bound, and he walks you through a methodology that will change the way you think about success, and life.” Tony Jeary
“WOW! I am through the first 3 chapters and know that Ray has written a guide for happiness that will be a great value not only to me, but also to those I love and care about. I ordered 10 copies to share! If you could be happier, or know anyone that you want to improve their quality of life, order a copy now!” Mike McMahon
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
All around me I see people passing up opportunities to be happy so they can futilely chase success. The result is the never find success, or when they do they are very disappointed because it does not bring them the happiness they thought it would. Few people realize that the foundation for success comes from the habits that will also make them happier. I was inspired to write this book so I could share the scientific research and my 35 years of work experience to help people learn how to develop the habits of happiness so they can be happy and successful every day rather than hoping it will come in the future.
On August 15th, 2013, Moritz Erhardt, an intern working for Bank of America in London, died from complications created by working three days straight without sleep. He was doing a “turnaround,” which consists of an employee working all night, taking a cab home at 6 am, asking the cab to wait while he gets a quick shower and change of clothes, then hopping back in the cab to go back to work. He never got back in the cab. He was found dead in his shower. What happened?
Moritz’s death is a dramatic and immediate example of how our culture encourages many people to blindly chase success while being oblivious to the negative impacts it has on their happiness, on their health, and in certain cases on their lives. For most people these things develop over decades. The signs are there, but they are much more subtle and obscure.
I have worked with dozens of people over the past decade who speak about, research, and live happiness and success. We have analyzed definitions of success collected from over 240 people and found that most contained the word “happiness,” or at least concepts related to happiness. Most people connect success and happiness in their minds but have difficulty making the connection in their actions. Much like Moritz, only to a lesser degree, they pursue success single-mindedly, with the expectation that they will be happy once they achieve success; and that the more success they achieve, the happier they will be. Unfortunately that formula is backwards.
Success doesn’t lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.
Personally, I have been in business settings for over 35 years, and I have seen hundreds of examples of people working hard and unwittingly sacrificing happiness in pursuit of success, which they think will make them happy. It starts out innocently enough–not having time to go out with friends, not getting home in time for dinner with a spouse or kids, not having time to exercise or pursue a fulfilling hobby–but soon amounts to missing positive moments in life because they are busy trying to build a life that will be full of positive moments.
The drawback doesn’t reveal itself until 5 or 10 years down the road, when a goal set early on has been achieved (a raise, a promotion, or a nice car); but for some reason, the satisfaction and fulfillment that were supposed to accompany the goal…don’t. I have seen both men and women break down crying from the stress of wanting to give 100% in their work, yet feeling sad and unfulfilled because they were missing time with their new baby or significant other. Have you ever met someone who felt they’d missed their biggest opportunity? It’s sad. Because missing important moments in your life leads to stress, and stress leads to unhappiness, disease, and a host of other challenges.
One example is a woman I worked with. Her name was Tina.
Tina was poised and confident, the kind of person that her peers wanted to emulate and every manager wanted to hire. She showed great leadership and had tremendous success early in her career. Five years, two promotions, and one baby later, she was sitting in a restaurant, tears streaming down her face from the stress of trying desperately to be successful in so many areas of her life while wondering what happened to the promise of happiness. She is one of hundreds of examples that played out in many different ways, but always had the same root cause. The long hours of hard work and dedication were never paid off with happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction. They only led to more long hours and hard work in trying to reach the next goal, which itself was supposed to lead to happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction.
Let me say it again: Success doesn’t lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.
This book is intended to teach you how to happily put in those long hours and dedication–how to be happy first, and then have that happiness lead you to even greater success. It is not a choice between happiness and success, or a choice between working hard and being happy. They are intertwined, and the actions you take to make yourself happier will also provide the energy, motivation, and positive habits that will lead to your success.
Ray’s Higher Purpose and Definition of Success are helping people be happy and successful. He wakes up at 5 am every morning to work on his blogs or books before starting the day with his paying job in advertising. Ray White has been married for 25 years and has 3 wonderful teenagers. He is a C-Level executive with 30 years of business experience helping start-ups and Fortune 1000 companies improve performance and profitability by focusing on developing successful employees. Ray speaks and teaches business classes on Leadership, Happiness, and Success at all levels of the business hierarchy from new employees to C-Level executives. Ray is on the board of Pursuit-of-Happiness.org and the University of North Texas Professional Leadership Program. You can find more information about Ray and Connecting Happiness and Success at ConnectingHappinessandSuccess.com
Have you read this book or others by this author? Tell us in the comments how you liked it!